Grandpa Jacob's Funeral, 8/29/05

I'm currently on the east coast for my Grandmother's funeral. And one of the things we found... was the sermon I did at my Grandfather's funeral, 8/29/05.

As I read through it, I laughed.

It's funny-- I can point out exactly which professor taught me every piece that makes it in this sermon-- each part of my theological training on death and resurrection. I remember I had just finished a class tiled "resurrection" when my Grandfather died and all that class knowledge slipped right into this sermon. But that's all it is, knowledge-- and maybe a little shock as I try to process how that class knowledge is going to fit into this new experience.

And so I also laughed because it seems to have absolutely no base in experience whatsoever. This was before I had a son, before I took my first church, before I took my second church, before I wrote sermons every week, before I edited books, before I wrote articles and published chapters, before I burried anyone or walked with people through grief. This is my early, early work-- and it's packed with knowledge and very little leadership experience.

And it's funny-- because it really wasn't that long ago and yet I've changed so much in style and perspective because of where I've walked and the people I've particpated in life alongside. And yet-- I haven't changed at all theologically-- a lot of what I said here makes its way into Grandma's funeral service too. I simply figured out how the head knowledge works its way into real life.

But I decided I'd post this naive sermon here (on my blog)-- because it does have some good theology for grief. I didn't change anything in this copy-- I didn't make it flow better with my current writing style or anything. It's just as it was when I spoke it as a young, idealistic seminary student 5 years ago.

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Grandpa Jacobs Funeral, 8/29/05

Death brings pain.
We feel it here today.
Our hearts rip apart because of death.

Death brings us face-to-face with our own mortality.
We ask ourselves: Who am I? And—whose am I?

On normal days we “strut our stuff” and try to impress others with our self-confidence—hoping to actually be what we pretend. But death brings us face-to-face with the questions of “who am I? and “whose am I?”

Thankfully—we don’t have to live with death’s questions. We know WHO we are because of WHOSE we are.

We are God’s and we are safe in the arms of God.

Death isn’t the last thing we’ll stare in the face. Because we are God’s—we have hope.

It is because God raised Jesus from the death that (in our pain and sadness) we can hope for the resurrection of the dead.

Death is the last enemy of God.

And we have hope—because God has defeated it already.

Jesus’ resurrection was a first fruit of what will come for those who follow Christ.

We, as followers of Christ, in our sadness- have hope.

Today is a celebration of that hope—because we know WHOSE my Grandpa is. He is God’s and he is held safely in the arms of God.

Therefore, we have hope.

As you’re faced with death today—do you know WHO you are and WHOSE you are—or is the presence of death suffocating you?

If “whose we are” is merely a slave to ourselves, economic advancement—or whatever else… then the answer to “who am I?” is fairly bleak and hopeless.

My Grandpa would want me to tell you that you don’t have to settle with bleak and hopeless answers.

There’s hope.

If you ask “who am I” and “whose am I” and are unhappy with your answers—then all you need to do is let go, and let God.

So often we heard the story of Abraham and Sarah.

God told Abraham they would have a baby—even though they were way past child-bearing years.
And Sarah laughed.
She laughed because she saw there was nothing she could do.
She laughed because she realized how incapable she was for her to make this happen.
She laughed.

To find the hope of knowing WHOSE you are as you stare death in the face today—we must laugh with Sarah.

Laugh and realize there’s nothing you can do.
Let go and let God.

Because the hope we share in Christ is so peaceful—we can celebrate today.
The last enemy, death, has been conquered—and we hope, in God’s power, it will be conquered again.

This IS the Christian hope.
Paul says—Christianity stands or falls on the resurrection of Christ.

Do you sense this hope as your heart breaks and the tears flow?

My prayer for all of us is that we sense the deep love of God, closer than the pain we feel.

Let’s pray together:

Lord of all life, giver of hope, and one whom we trust—

We come before you with our hearts breaking within us. We hurt.

With death staring us in the face today, we are confronted with our own mortality and questions of who we are.

We admit that all too often we walk confidently—hoping we actually are what we self-force and make ourselves out to be.

Save us from this so that we might laugh with Sarah and know that death’s answers aren’t up to us.

May we give up ourselves to you and let you take care of us.

Remind us of the hope we have in Christ—for it is because you had the power to raise
Christ from the dead that we have hope now.

May we truly be the community of faith as we love each other in this time of pain.

And may we step back and let this man we know as husband, father, friend… and Grandpa rest in the arms of God.

For it is in the arms of God where we also find ourselves.

Amen.

Grandma Jacobs Funeral Service, 5/15/10

Here is the sermon I'm planning on giving at my Grandmother's funeral service, 5/15/10:

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So often, at funerals, we speak of the Kingdom of Heaven. We say things like “We know she’s in heaven” or “we have hope for an eternal heaven.”

But today—because of the amazing woman we honor today… I want to talk about the Kingdom of Heaven my Grandmother brought to us—here and now, in this place.

Sure—she is held in the arms of God in the Kingdom of Heaven…
But today I call out the times Ruth Miller Jacobs became the arms of God here and now. The arms that now hold her are the very arms she became- for us.

I can remember my Grandmother embodying the Jesus she followed. She did not simply claim to be a Christ follower—she became the kind of person who was the answer to people’s prayers to the Christ she followed. It is one thing to tell people you’re praying for them. It’s an entire other thing to actually allow your life to become the answers to people’s prayers. My Grandmother became the answer to my prayers more times than I can count… and I’m confident for most of you as well.

My Grandmother became the kind of person she called us to be. She lived a life of love and hope.

Ruth Jacobs very life redeemed creation. Her entire life was an offering to God—renewing and restoring the brokenness and darkness around her.

She sent cards. And even mastered email and facebook (thus making her a 91 year old rock star). :)

She donated money. She supported missions.

She loved people.
Church kids would give her big hugs and she loved on them—becoming the very presence of Christ to each child she touched.

She played music- she sang.

Her eyes were always fixed on her Lord.

She read her bible—knew most every line.
Her heart was shaped by that Word.

Ruth Jacobs was the matriarch—the pillar, the stronghold of the family. She lived her life on her knees before the Lord and her heart before her family.

She emptied herself—giving up all of who she was—to become who Christ was calling her to be (and who she was created to be).

She became redemption.
She lived out renewal.
She embodied restoration.

I don’t know about you—but people like my Grandmother cause me to want to live the same.

I look around the world and I see destruction. I see pain. I see abuse. Sin and selfishness have destroyed everything.

I feel sorrow. I hear sobs and tears. The world is a mess.

People are hungry. Starving. Suffering.

Masses are lonely. Hurt. Rejected.

I, myself, have experienced extreme trauma—(like many of you, I’m sure).
I know darkness. I am well acquainted with the depths of despair.

But women like my Grandmother did too.
Her college roommate was killed in a car wreck.
She lost her parents.
She buried her husband.
My Grandmother breathed in the stench of pain and suffering.

But- she chose to live differently than the pain and suffering around her. She chose to live a life that called forth the Kingdom of Heaven here and now. A life that breathed back out—hope and love.

My Grandmother lived redemption.

And today—as we celebrate her and say goodbye… we watch as her life is offered before God.

What an offering!

Some may give money. Some may give time.

This woman’s whole entire life was a beautiful offering to God—a life lived in a way that called forth life from the ashes.

I want to do the same.
And I call all of you to do the same too.

Live redemption.
Call forth restoration for the destruction here and now.
Become the Kingdom of Heaven.
Let your arms become the arms of God for the world.
Breathe out hope.

The same arms that hold Ruth Jacobs—are the arms you can become.
For God needs a body here on earth—and you can become that body.
Love the hurting.
Support the weak.
Become the answer to people’s prayers.

Follow the example of my Grandmother—
Who followed the example of her Jesus.

Become who you were created—too, just like we saw Grandma become.
So when you find yourself no longer breathing in the stench of the world’s pain—you might be able to have those who love you say your life was an offering—hope and love breathed out on the world.

I know I am who I am—tenacious and strong as I am—clinging to hope and love as I am…
Because of this woman. Her prayers—her embodiment of Christ—her presence.

And with her gone—t he world needs the rest of us to pick up that spirit- that gift- that hope… and keep on breathing restoration, redemption, and renewal.

This woman didn’t just love—she became love.

Go and do the same.
When you suck in the stench of a destroyed creation with the effects of sin burning your nostrils… breathe back out hope.

Choose to become the answers to people’s prayers.
Nothing else would honor this woman more than to continue the legacy of her life and choices.

So let’s go from this place- proud.
She got it right.
I can hear her Lord whispering “well done,” “well done.”

May we hear that same whisper on our lives.
And may we too—bring the Kingdom of Heaven here and now.



Let’s pray together—
Lord God—
In your great mercy—hear our prayers.
Be honored by the amazing life of this woman.
Breathe life, love, and hope on us—where we feel absence and despair from losing her.

We’re not afraid o admit—we so desperately need you.
Our lives are a mess. Pain is overwhelming us right now. We miss her.
Minister to us.
May someone become your body for us—here and now, to hold us in your arms and whisper love.
We need your comforting Spirit.

And Lord—as you comfort—change us. Purify us. Make us holy—able to love—able to live redemptively like my Grandmother.

May (when we take our last breath)—people know we loved you and breathed your love and hope out on the world.
May we become who we were created to be and may our lives be an offering to you—of where we restored and called for the renewal and redemption… where there was only sin’s destruction.

We ask all of this in your name.
Amen.

Special Needs Adults

What I’ve learned from Working with Special Needs Adults:

1. Special needs adults have a voice. They want to be heard. They have things to say that could change our world if we stopped to listen.

2. Adults with special needs want to be treated like humans. We strip them of their very humanity when we talk over them or admire those who work with “such people.”

3. Special needs adults are the most loving people on earth. And they mean it.

4. Special needs adults do not know how to be fake or act like someone they are not. We could learn a lot from such behavior.

5. There is less to be afraid of (than most think) with special needs adults. Most are more sweet and loving than anyone you’ll know.

6. Special needs adults have experienced a lot of pain and hardship in their life—and they trust God anyway. Their faith is inspiring. They tend to experience more death than most people (friends in their group homes or they’ve met at special events)—and yet they still have faith in the love of God.

7. A smile and a safe touch on the shoulder will make a huge difference for special needs adults. They do not need massive, expensive things. Attention could change their world.

8. They believe, trust, and hope in a restored creation and act like it is possible. The “unspecial” among us doubt this possibility constantly.

9. Special needs adults work hard at everything and with joy. Even scrubbing floors. They just want to be a part of something—whatever it might be.

10. Special needs adults are incredibly giving. They tend not to have limits of giving of themselves on behalf of another.

11. Special needs adults let themselves go in freedom—they will dance horribly and not care. Social limitations we all are stuck with and allow guide our actions—are not important to them.

12. God listens to special needs adults. Their prayers are answered in amazing ways with their childlike faith. They’ll even clap with excitement when prayers are answered. I cannot remember the last time I saw such celebration over answered prayers.

Coming out of the Church Closet (and into creation)

Dan Kimball wrote a book titled “They Like Jesus But not the Church.” I could not speak a better sentence to describe my own life right now. Which—I must admit is why my own blog writing has been lacking lately—because I cannot stand the church I see today. I wrestled in my own heart with the question: How can someone with a blog titled “Redemption is calling” dislike the church so much and write and publish things theologically on their blog?

Maybe it’s just a phase, I assured myself. I’ll get over it.

It’s been two months since my last post. I am not getting over it.

After much wrestling—I decided to “come out of my closet,” so to speak. I can’t stand the church-- I see today. There it is, in print.

I recently sat at a table of agnostics and uttered the following phrase: “I don’t blame you at all for rejecting this whole church thing; not even a little bit. I looked for God in church—and didn’t find any divine being there.” They were astonished. After all, I’m an ordained elder.

Now this is NOT to say the preaching is lacking. Actually, the church I’m attending has the best preaching ever heard. The man has got some talent theologically and has tremendous communication skills. But that does not make up a church; unfortunately. I wish it did.

This is NOT to say the programs are lacking. I attended several churches with phenomenal programs for all ages. Everyone has a place. But this does not make up a church either; unfortunately. I wish it did.

So what is lacking? Why can’t Christy Gunter stand the church?

Because I have not found God in the church— along with the rest of my agnostic friends. In fact, I've found my agnostic friends act more like the Jesus that Christians claim to follow. They love without limits and refuse to judge.

Last week I found myself at the community garden. My little boy and I were in the dirt, digging, watering, and planting. Some little girls (ages 5 and 7) were invited. They were home without an adult and had eaten chicken nuggets for breakfast. As I showed them how to plant seeds, I saw God.

A few days ago I was talking to an amazing man who goes to work in Thailand to end human trafficking and create more options for women—and I saw God.

I was working at the community coffee house (also called Meads Corner) and I was hurting. Someone saw the pain in my eyes and gave me a huge hug—and I saw God.

That same day my best friend looked at me with sheer honesty and said the most profound sentence ever. He said, “Christy, I think you went into ministry to be where Jesus is at and since Jesus is not in the church—but amongst the poor and disenfranchised—go be where Jesus is.”

He’s right.

Now this is NOT to say I am leaving community. Everyone needs community to interpret and develop who they are in Jesus. I have the most amazing community ever outside of the church. And we all love Jesus.

This is NOT to say I am ready to turn in my credentials—although they can have the piece of paper. God does not need an ordination status to use me.

This is NOT to say you won’t see me in church or that I think redemption is no longer calling. God’s Kingdom is transforming creation—and I’m going to be a part of it, wherever that might be.

I just want to be where Jesus is.

I am going to get more involved in intentional community. Being the Kingdom of God in a community of people—preferably the poor. Perhaps even around the community garden.

I am going to spend my time investing in those who work to end the sex trade and human trafficking. This is where my heart is. I know what it is like to be treated like an object… even if I do not know what it is like to be sold and traded.

I want to be free to love people regardless of what they look like or how different they are from me (like I want to be free to love the homosexual for who they are and who they want to be). This is not acceptable in the church. We say it is—but it is not. Words mean nothing. They are empty—as empty as God in the church.

Recently I was described as sounding like Martin Luther ready to start a reformation or I was told (numerous times) I need to start a church.

Perhaps they are right. That sure is one way to become the church I wish it was. Start from scratch.

Though I’m fairly confident I do not have the gumption to be a reformer, I do know the church was meant for something better. We were created for something better.

And since the church is not living out who we were called to be—I will. If anyone wants to join me, you know where to find me. I’m always at Meads or amongst the rejected of society. You can find me there.

Redemption is calling. God is renewing and restoring.

Just maybe not where I’ve always looked.

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In response to my excellent responders... I add this to my article:

Some responded to me by saying 'If you don't like your church- find another.' I actually love my church. I am not critiquing a specific church. I'm beyond thankful for who my church is as a body as they loved me through trauma. I am critiquing the bride of Christ who is acting more like a whore than a bride. One church location is not THE church. It is all of us- Catholic- Protestant- & Orthodox together.

Others noted the last thing we need is another church or denomination. They are right! We need to get it together as ONE Church of Jesus Christ- without divisions or seperation.

Mirror Reflections

Yes, it's true. Your eyes are not deceiving you. I am actually posting again! It's only been 2-3 months since my last article. But for a writer, that's a LONG time. Life has been chaotic and painful-- but I'm getting back on my feet again- and I feel the words about to flow.

Today I'd like to talk about mirror reflections. Not-- quite like the mirror you use to see your pretty little face or floss those pearly whites. I'm talking about the mirror reflections we see when we relate to other people.

We learn so much about ourselves when we gaze into the mirror of relationships.

For example, we get into a fight-- and learn how selfish we are. A friend loses a loved one-- and we learn how deep our empathy goes. It seems the more we relate to others, the more we learn about who we really are.

When you experience a person with severe addictions, they reveal your own addictions. When you participate in life with a person who is oppressed, they reveal a capacity within you to be an oppressor.

Over the last 3 months (that this writer has been absent from posting)-- I've looked in the mirror of relationships-- a lot. I've gazed into some failed relationships and even some new relationships. I've peered into some broken relationships while viewing some strained relationships. I've experience some relationships made so strong nothing could break it.

Due to all my recent mirror reflections and peering so deeply into my very being-- I've learned more about who I really am. I now know, when you look at a person to whom you relate, you more clearly see yourself-- faults and all. And although I've come face-to-face with more faults than I care to realize, life is more beautiful because I see who I really am and feel the divine grace; even more.

Meads Corner: The Front Porch of Wichita

Long ago and not so far away, people would spend time on their front porches in community. Billy Bob would sit there sipping his tea and his neighbor Jim Bob would come over and chat about the weather and the crop season. ;) Their darling wives Betty Sue and Rebecca would talk about their latest craft projects and their young children would push each other into the mud. It was a beautiful thing-- the front porch mentality. It created a way to form community and participate in each other's lives.

But today, this seems to be nothing more than an ancient practice, a distant memory. Look around the houses in your town. How many of them even have front porches? Gorgeous wood that wraps around the front of a home and the community service these porches provide are a thing of the past. And yet-- we still desire, need even, the opportunity for connection with our neighbors. We are social people who find life and purpose in our participation in life with the other.

The Church seeks every opportunity possible to recreate this front porch community. We throw in a potluck here and a meet and greet with coffee time there. All attempts to create community from within.

And then, there's the churches who are extremely creative and innovative while seeking to step outside the box; such as the crew at Wichita's First United Methodist Church. This collection of amazing people began brainstorming the idea of a fair trade coffee shop for the purpose of creating community.

From the very beginning days of the shop, this team of visionary church leaders looked for ways to create networking connections for people. Before the floorboards were ever laid, scripture verses were printed and placed on the ground. They remain under the tile to this day.

A Sunday evening service was created, with the goal of bringing together people who might not necessarily want to step foot in a traditional church but are still amazed with the man called Jesus. A coffee shop is a perfect place to do this- to incorporate a younger generation who loves Jesus but not the church (see Dan Kimball's text, "They Like Jesus But Not the Church: Insights from Emerging Generations").

A Monday evening TED (Technology, Entertainment, and Design) discussion was formed-- with the vision of bringing together people from the Wichita area to talk about hot button issues-- everything from compassion to consumerism.

Every other Thursday evening the stage is open for what is called "Espresso Theater." People are called to the stage to act, read, and perform in 15 minutes or less. Usually laughter and giggles fill the back room for this event.

All these intentional creations enable the formation of community for Meads Corner Fair Trade Coffee House-- making this particularly special coffee shop, the front porch of Wichita. If Billy Bob and Rebecca desire to chat with their neighbors in community-- no longer is the front porch the place to do this. Now, in this post-modern age, the coffee house is where one seeks such relation.

If you're intrigued by this special shop, check out www.meadscorner.com or stop by 430 E Douglas in Wichita Kansas. This place is especially close to my heart, since this is where I call home. That apartment I live in, is only where I sleep. :)

I Was Hungry—and You Gave Me a TASTE of Redemption

Last week my friend, my son, and I volunteered at a food pantry. My facebook status that day read something along the lines of, “I hope that as we serve at food shelter today—my son will be formed at an early age—to be the kind of person who loves and serves.”

I often encourage parents, children’s pastors, and teachers to intentionally bring children alongside of them to serve the church and community. My personal goal, for my own son, is to enable Jayden to reflexively learn to love. For brain science teaches us (see “Liars, Lovers, and Heroes”) that we can make a choice once—and it is a choice. We make it again—and it is still a choice. But over time the chemicals in the brain work to cause us to act reflexively instead of making a choice. It becomes a habit. And even though my little man is only 3 he organized Ramen Noodles by color and did quite well.

As we were all working, sweating, and sorting through about one-hundred pounds of food, I was struck with several thoughts.

All too often, when asked to donate to the hungry, we give Ramen and starches—which is fine if you are near death. But usually people who come to food pantries need more than just starches to sustain life. They need to be given something special that conveys love and offers a “taste” of the restoration of creation—that which we (those of us doing the donating) have already experienced.

So I composed this list of advice—for those who are looking to donate to a food pantry (and reasons why):

1. If you do not already know this, most “poor” people in the US can scrape up twenty cents to buy Ramen Noodles. If you want to give something “like” this—try donating the pasta in a bowl or easily heated non-perishables you would take to work for lunch.

2. Splurge on the extra forty-nine cents and get the good cookies. Skip over the store brand (the ‘make you want to spew cookie’), and get a snack you would enjoy if you were a bit down on finances and needed to skip over the snack isle with sad eyes. Try Ritz bits crackers, Oreos, Chips Ahoy, and fruit snacks.

3. If you really want to help someone who is down on finances, give them the things that are the hardest to purchase. Milk, eggs, meat, and cheese. All these things are quite expensive and usually get overlooked when money is low. Especially meat.

4. Gas cards would be a great way to help someone feeling stumpy on cash. Particularly when the cost of one gallon of gas sky-rockets the price of a gallon of milk.

5. Forget the cheap Jell-O mixes in boxes. Seriously. I know it sounds crazy—but think about the times you had to work really hard to make ends meet. Did you want to pull out the pan, boil water, stir it, wait for it to cool, stick it in the fridge, and then serve it? Or would you rather just pull it out of the fridge and hand it to your kids? Remember next time—give the food pantries the already mixed Jell-O.

6. Think beyond the starches. If you’ve ever found yourself scratching your head and wondering why those who seem to have the least amount of money are also the largest people you know, the secret can now be revealed. It is because the poor eat cheap starches to fill them up when hungry. Think about how you would feel eating starches and noodles every single day in order not to be famished. It’s not so fun. Go the extra mile and get creative about filling those starving for food like fruits, vegetables, and meats.

7. When I was going through the boxes of food at the shelter, my favorite thing to find was coffee (the good kind), tea bags, soda, and fruit drinks. This is the FIRST thing to get skipped when your finances need to be skimmed. If you really want to show God’s redemptive love, pick up some fair trade coffee beans and help both the farmer overseas AND the person short on cash.

8. Think “easy and quick” when selecting things to donate for breakfast. Usually those who are poor are running off to work in the morning to slave at a job we (those of us donating) would never think to apply. Such as factory workers, maids, and other “lowly” tasks in the eyes of the wealthy. Ask yourself: What would you want to eat for breakfast on the run? I know I enjoy eating breakfast cereals, pop tarts, breakfast bars, and even those cool cereal straws. Donate these to the food pantry.

9. Donate money specifically tagged for gift cards. This way those who come to the food pantry can get what they need from the store (which usually includes the perishable things like milk, eggs, and meat).

10. Try donating a box of cake mix and frosting or easy cookie mixes. Look at the directions and find the boxes/bags where all you do is throw in an egg, stir in some water, and thirty minutes later you have homemade cookies. For—there is nothing quite like a warm chocolate chip cookie to share God’s love with the hungry.

“For I was hungry—and you gave me a taste of the redemption of creation…”